Get black to where you once belonged

Yes, that was clever...you like that? Ok so here goes on that whole Barak Obama isn't black enough jazz. The lady that Stephen Colbert had on was a quack. She seemed convinced that Barak Obama wasn't black because he's not a descendant of west African slaves. That must mean that the only people who can claim to be black are the descendants then, not the originals. So we have to deduce that Africans are not what we would call black since they are not descendants of slaves (unless you live in Liberia, you might be). If Africans aren't black, then how can descendants of Africans therefore be black? Or how can they claim to be blacker than Africans or blacker than Barak Obama. Yeah their ancestors were slaves but so were mine, just not as recent. (think Israelites, people. We built those damn pyramids...all the live-long day) So why can't my whiteness and Christianity be a qualifier for checking the "oppressed" box? Why can't I claim to be whiter than Germans, English, Dutch, or Canadians? We all know Canadians are the whitest you can get, but you don't see them going around blabbing about how white they are and how un-white other people are.

I think that, so far, Obama has given nothing to fuel opposition to him. He is, dare I say, lily-white in his past. And where he hasn't been, he has been forthcoming with any and all details about smoking pot, snorting coke, and his current vice, smoking. There is nothing to reveal. So now the Republican machine has come up with "He's not really a black man!" Well, whoop-de-sh$%. He's black enough to look like a black man, and that's all there needs to be. Oh, and he stole Ross Perot's ears and attached them to his own head. Is that a crime? Taking Ross Perot's ears is fine, as long as you had to kill him to get 'em.