I Hate Waiting...

Goodness knows, I have no problem pointing out things that I see as problems or mocking something just for the sake of mocking, but today I'd like to go in a little different direction. Here's the deal: everyone knows that the doctor's office is a total mess. You get there and have to sit in the waiting room for about 30 minutes. Then you go in to the back where the Physician's Assistant or some equally unhelpful person puts you through your third prescreening, albeit a little more detailed than the ones you did on the phone when you scheduled or at the front desk when you arrived. The waiting room gets a bad rap, but it's usually about 10 times better than what's waiting for you in the back. At least there are some old People magazines or, if you're lucky, a TV tuned to some cartoons or something up front. When you get to the back you got nothin'. So you get to the back and after the prescreen you're hosed. It's going to be at least 15 minutes, but you probably want to plan on 30 to 45. And it's not like you could remember to bring anything to read from the front because you're in a whirlwind of excitement and relief, a type of euphoria really, at being called back in the first place. And working up the courage to walk back to the front and grab the beat up old Time magazine you were reading takes a ton of courage. I don't know why that is, but they have some kind of control over you there - as is evidenced by the fact that you'll sit there in your skivvies the whole time you're in the back if they tell you to. So you have to sit there searching for anything to occupy your mind. Honestly, I have read so many posters about sleep apnea that I could recite every symptom associated with the condition. I've read about numerous birth control methods and countless pamphlets on abuse. And when you're in the back you'll read them several times over because they just don't take that much time. Even with the multiple readings of whatever material you can find you are still going to have a ton of time to kill.

Well, I have a solution. And I can break it down with two little letters: T and V. You put a little TV back there and I'm going to be in a much better mood for the doc. Especially if they give me satelite and a remote. And don't act like it costs too much. They give me every procedure they can think of while I'm there. If I go in for stitches I come out with stitches and blood pressure medicine. The dentist is king of that stuff. Panoramic x-rays every 3 years no matter what. (I should disclose that I am an anti-dentite. Only on a collective basis, of course, and not an individual one.) My point is, they've got the money. Don't tell me your overhead costs are that high because I would swear on the Bible that I've never met a receptionist at any medical office who seemed like they had graduated from high school. Not only would I be happier while I was there, I wouldn't mind scheduling a follow-up nearly as much. As it is, I have to cut out three hours for a miserable experience to go to the doctor. If I knew that I was going to get to watch a stretch of uninterupted TV I would be much more inclined to sign up to the follow-up.

Think about it Nate. (Not that you're going to be any help as a you-will-go-to-sleep-or-I-will-put-you-to-sleep doctor, but maybe you can pass it on to your buddies.)